working for vs. working at

I've lead worship, written music, or created programs for many churches as a freelance artist; I've also "worked at" churches as a full time staff member. And lately I've come to realize that there are some big differences between the two callings that go way beyond hours, dollars, benefits, or membership.

When I work "for" a church I am performing a service for that organization. The work is often for a set amount of time (lead worship for a few Sundays, write this chart, help create and orchestrate this music program). It's very exciting work, being called in to do what one does well and presumably what is needed most. And when it's done, you're done; you leave and move on to other projects, and the church moves along on their missional path as well.

I'm in full time ministry at my current church. I do many of the same things--leading worship, planning services, writing arrangements, etc.--but now I'm just doing it more consistently (as in most every week!). But that is not the only difference; I'm called to do something more, and that is to CARE where the organization goes. And this affects more than just the worship ministry I lead; my care extends to caring about every part of the ministry. I care what the building looks like; I care about what we preach and teach about. I care about how our people live their lives in the light of Christ's love. I even care about the donuts and coffee, and whether the lobby is attractive.

Besides all the musical/artistic duties on my plate, I'm also "on a staff," working toward a united team goal. I deeply care about how our church worships together, how the community sees us and is influenced by us, how our members grow and serve, and how new leaders are shaped and formed. And this kind of caring cannot be fit into a project or event--it's an ongoing lifestyle.

When I go to my studio (away from the church) to write or record a project, I walk right in and get to work. No fuss, no mess, no emotionalism, no ramifications. The current project is what it is, nothing more (except, of course, my hope that it will bless somebody in the hearing)!).

But when I walk into my church office, a different, larger set of priorities looms before me--people. Our people, new people, staff people, the people who we haven't even met yet. I find myself caring for people: relationships between staff members, between staff and parishioners, between the Senior Pastor, Assistant Pastor and me, between me and the choir I lead. And with all those people come a much deeper list of concerns that far overshadows considerations of what key, what tempo, how long, etc. This list includes dreams, goals, disappointments, heartaches, challenges, sin, disagreements, joys. These are the deep reservoirs of emotion that mark the lives of every person. Each person, to paraphrase C. S. Lewis, is at each moment progressing toward heaven or hell; and not only do we see the journey, but we take part in helping them (one way or another).

What an incredible responsibility--it can be overwhelming at times. But this, ultimately, is the joy of ministry--the opportunity to be used by God to be a blessing in someone's life, and to help them to move further along in their journey. Sometimes they welcome the help, while at other times they fight it, but it's God's work and our responsibility to see it through.

The occasional arranging project is clean, neat, orderly, and bound by a deadline. The work of shepherding and leading is timeless, messy, at times joyful and others discouraging, and always required--it never ends. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians, "Love never fails." We don't "finish" loving--it's a lifelong project.